Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from tough times or situations. People with
resilience do not let failure overcome them but rather find a way to carry on despite
their circumstances. Psychologists have identified factors that contribute to making
someone resilient. These include: having a positive attitude, being optimistic, having
the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful
feedback.
Food for thought- Our children watch and learn from our examples… what do we teach them from our daily attitude and approach to life?
How to foster an attitude of resilience…
• Children learn through experiencing things for themselves and sometimes that means that they will have to overcome failures in order to experience success.
• Hold back from doing the task for your child. If they do need some help, try to give them guidance in the right direction or a ‘tip’ so that they will still get the satisfaction from achieving the task themselves in the end.
• Always encourage your child to try doing something on their own first. If they need some help, ask them to be specific about what they would like you to do. This way they will still feel empowered and can grade how much help they want.
• Give positive feedback as often as possible and be specific about what they did well, e.g. ‘I love the way that you waited for your turn so patiently even though it was hard to watch everyone else go first.’
• If at first they don’t succeed- ask them to reflect on why they think that their plan did not work and ask them to come up with some changes to their plan that will make it possible for them to succeed.
Always encourage your children to come up with potential solutions to their problems themselves.
• When reflecting on why something did not work, give specific feedback that will help your child come up with their own solutions. For example, use language such as ‘do you think that you threw that ball too softly or too hard to get it into the goal?’
• Teach your children how to learn from theirs and/or others mistakes. Be creative about how you do this- you can even use stories (such as the story of ‘The Ugly Duckling’) and fables to teach them important life lessons.
• We all make mistakes in front of our children- be sure to apologise to them if you demonstrate a negative attitude or behaviour and try and show them a better example next time.
• Teach your children appropriate ways of dealing with stress- for example, teach them the value of exercise and hobbies to help them de-stress.
• Always end on a high note- that may mean that your child will have to repeat the same task a number of times before they get it right but always encourage them to persevere!
• Celebrate success! This may be through a simple thing like a ‘high 5’, a big hug, a sticker or a special treat. Share the great news of what they have achieved with others such as family and friends and tell them how proud you are that they never gave up.
By Signe Dimitriades
Food for thought- Our children watch and learn from our examples… what do we teach them from our daily attitude and approach to life?
How to foster an attitude of resilience…
• Children learn through experiencing things for themselves and sometimes that means that they will have to overcome failures in order to experience success.
• Hold back from doing the task for your child. If they do need some help, try to give them guidance in the right direction or a ‘tip’ so that they will still get the satisfaction from achieving the task themselves in the end.
• Always encourage your child to try doing something on their own first. If they need some help, ask them to be specific about what they would like you to do. This way they will still feel empowered and can grade how much help they want.
• Give positive feedback as often as possible and be specific about what they did well, e.g. ‘I love the way that you waited for your turn so patiently even though it was hard to watch everyone else go first.’
• If at first they don’t succeed- ask them to reflect on why they think that their plan did not work and ask them to come up with some changes to their plan that will make it possible for them to succeed.
Always encourage your children to come up with potential solutions to their problems themselves.
• When reflecting on why something did not work, give specific feedback that will help your child come up with their own solutions. For example, use language such as ‘do you think that you threw that ball too softly or too hard to get it into the goal?’
• Teach your children how to learn from theirs and/or others mistakes. Be creative about how you do this- you can even use stories (such as the story of ‘The Ugly Duckling’) and fables to teach them important life lessons.
• We all make mistakes in front of our children- be sure to apologise to them if you demonstrate a negative attitude or behaviour and try and show them a better example next time.
• Teach your children appropriate ways of dealing with stress- for example, teach them the value of exercise and hobbies to help them de-stress.
• Always end on a high note- that may mean that your child will have to repeat the same task a number of times before they get it right but always encourage them to persevere!
• Celebrate success! This may be through a simple thing like a ‘high 5’, a big hug, a sticker or a special treat. Share the great news of what they have achieved with others such as family and friends and tell them how proud you are that they never gave up.
By Signe Dimitriades
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